Villians Inc. Contest Entry - Lykos 18321

[Lykos]

Villians Inc. Contest Entry
By Lykos
ID: 18321

“Look, all I want is to get my car back.  How hard is that?  Just get my car out of impound and bring it here!” Jack had been standing all day in court dealing with the crap system, and now that he paid his money at the clerk, the guys down at impound don’t have any record of it.  This was getting ridiculous.   “I understand your system is stupid and doesn’t see it, so would you just call the clerk of courts and get me my damn blue Honda Civic?”

A tap on Jack’s shoulder had him spinning around, ready to start berating the next cop that gave him  a hard time.  But it wasn’t a cop.  Jack wasn’t even sure it was human.  The skin was grey and lifeless, but the hand that had tapped him was clearly alive and really freakishly strong.  The hair was black and he wore a black shirt with a simple Skull as its only design.  Jack had to crane his neck way up to even look at the guy.

“Gaaahh” was about all he could muster staring at the large dude.  The figure looked down at him and smiled, which made Jack really wish he wouldn’t.

“Which car is yours, human?  Blue Honda Civic?  Hold on.” The man jumped and landed on the other side of the big fence that surrounded the car lot.  Police immediately started yelling orders and calling for help.  All Jack could do was stand with his mouth slightly agape.  

The figure strode into the rows of cars, completely uncaring about the cops.  After some walking and moving between rows, Jack watched as the figure bent down and literally picked up Jack’s car.  He held it aloft above his head, and bellowed, “IS THIS IT?”

Jack found just enough of his voice to squeak an affirmative and the large man began carrying the Honda over his head to the gate.  With a side-look at the dumbfounded cop behind the gate, he asked, “Do you want to open it, or do I kick it in?”

The cop just silently reached over and hit the release button, allowing the gate to slide back on its rollers.  When it had cleared, the man strolled out like he was carrying a bag of rice over his head and set the car down in front of Jack.  

“There!  I did a good deed for the day” the man exclaimed.  

“Who... who are you?” Jack asked, fishing his keys out of his pocket.

“I’m Crossbones”, he replied and then turned to the cops.  “Spell it as one word, morons.  Not two.”

With the cops attention all on Crossbones, Jack quickly jumped in his Civic, revved it, and took off before anyone could stop him. After a moment Crossbones looked over at the dumbfounded cop.  

“Did he say ‘Thank you’?”

 The cop slowly shook his head No.

“Damn. That was rude.”  Crossbones suddenly sprinted down the street in the direction Jack had fled, who had already turned a corner.  Crossbones took the corner at high speeds and the cops heard a massive crunch.  The blue Honda Civic then came flying back from around the corner and off out of sight the other direction.  It landed with a sickening metallic crash that left little to the imagination of Jack’s fate.

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Catalyst stood in front of the group of Villians Inc.  His purple glow was pulsing angrily, but then, he was always angry.  

“Ok look, mongrels.  I gave you one clear objective today.  I wanted you to each go out and do one – ONE - good deed.  What do you guys have to say for yourselves?”

Martial Law raised his hand.  Catalyst stared at him dumbfounded.

“What do you think this is, School?  Speak up!”



“Can you explain again why it is we are doing one good deed a day?” Martial Law asked.  “We ain’t capes, we’re villains.  We are supposed to be the bad guys!”  The villains around him both simultaneously nodded along and moved slowly away from Martial Law.  Even Law’s wolf slinked back out of the way.

“Ok, I am going to explain this slowly, and with small words for you.” Catalyst replied with a soft sigh. “I call it Operation Gaslight.  If we do an occasional good deed in full daylight, then the capes will have a harder time to point the finger at us.  It’s all about public perception.  If we get blamed for blowing up an orphanage – Don’t get excited Sarge, it was just an example – then the public will all be like, ‘No, he saved my cat from a tree once’.  See?”

Martial Law shook his head.  “I don’t think that is how it works, boss.”

“Then how about… BECAUSE I SAID SO AND I AM THE LEADER!!”  

The silence after the outburst was deafening.  Suddenly, Crossbones stepped forward, all eyes training on him instantly.

“I helped a dude get his car out of the impound lot today.  Cops were playing dumb, so I hopped over and got it for him.”, he said.

“SEE?  Now that right there is what I am talking about”, Catalyst stated.  “You go out, you find a guy that needs help, and you do it.  No reward, no thank you’s, just do the good deed.”

“Wait, no thank you’s?” Crossbones asked.

“No.  Doing the good deed is its own reward, Cross.  Why?”

“No, uh, no reason.  Just clarifying”.